I’ve just watched a TED talk by Sherry Turkle called “Connected, but alone?”. I’m amazed by how she totally expresses what I feel about being connected.

In 1996 Turkle was on the cover of Wired with the article “Sex, Lies and Avatars” about how technology and our lives on the screen could help us connect with others regardless of distance, gender and culture, express and learn about ourselves and take that knowledge to the “real world” to live better lives. I remember loving reading this interesting and provocative article back then, when Wired was almost my bible :)).

Today as I watch her TED talk, I have to share her disappointment on how things turned out and I how I agree that this sense of being connected and sharing all the time is actually making us disconnecting from ourselves and from others. Here are some bits I found interesting:

•  Our little devices in out pockets are so psychologically powerful that they do not only change what we do, they change who we are.
• We turn to technology to help us feel connected in ways that we can control.
•  Constant connection is changing the way we think about ourselves – “I share therefore I am”.
• We end up isolated if we don’t cultivate the capacity for solitude. Solitude is where you find yourself so you can reach out to others and form real attachments. When we don’t have that capacity we turn to other people in order to feel less anxious or to feel alive, using them to support our sense of self.
• We have this false feeling that being connected is going to make us feel less alone but what happens is the opposite and if we’re not able to be alone we’re going to be more lonely.
• It’s time to think about how to use technology and develop a more self aware relationship with our devices, with each other and with ourselves.
• Make room for solitude.
• We’re so busy communicating that we don’t have time to think and to talk about the things that really matter.
• Listen to each other, including to the boring bits because it’s when we stumble, when we hesitate and lose our words that we reveal ourselves to each other.
• Use technology to make this life the life that we love.